February 13

The Proactive Blogger’s Mindset: Thoughts on Why You’re Not Succeeding

Blogging isn’t just about sharing your thoughts with the world or documenting your journey. It’s an intricate blend of passion, persistence, and strategic planning. If you find yourself stuck or not achieving the success you dream of, it might be time to adjust your mindset. Let’s dive into some thoughtful insights on what might be holding you back.

Embarking on the blogging journey with enthusiasm, many of us soon find ourselves facing the harsh reality of unmet expectations. Why, despite our passion and effort, are we not seeing the success we dreamed of? Reflecting on the insights from the conversation in the uploaded file, it becomes clear that a proactive blogger’s mindset is crucial for overcoming these hurdles. Here’s a deeper dive into the essential strategies that can guide us towards blogging triumph.


This conversation titled “Proactive Blogger Mindset” is a detailed exploration of blogging success strategies, as discussed by Emilia Gardner. It covers various aspects such as the significance of commitment, selecting a less competitive niche, overcoming mental hurdles, the importance of monetization, developing routines, and finding motivation. Through chapters and summaries, it offers insights into persistence, realistic expectations, and changing attitudes towards making money online, aiming to provide actionable advice for aspiring bloggers.

In this insightful conversation with Emilia Gardner, we explore the proactive blogger’s mindset, delving into pivotal shifts and strategies that can turn desperation into tangible progress in the blogging world.
Video Transcript

Lack of Desperation and Fatigue in Pursuit of Success

[0:00] I will say something that might be uncomfortable for you to hear, but I don’t think you’re desperate enough.
I don’t think you need it enough or want it enough. And you’re tired.
And the only thing you had to do was to sit down and write a blog post.
And if you did not do that, your children would not eat tomorrow.
Do you think there is any chance in the world that you would just look at Netflix?
Have you ever wondered why you see some success and then it seems like you end up failing anyway or you hit a plateau but never really reach the success that you actually want.
I certainly have and I’ve been working online for over a decade so I thought I pretty much knew what I needed to know but it became painfully obvious in my interview with Emilia Gardner that I most certainly didn’t and there is actually some learnings hidden in here that I think you could benefit from and what she ended up saying actually pretty much threw me off course but in order to understand why that is and for you to get some learnings out of this we have to set the stage first so you mentioned that you were single dad two children two boys and then you talked about being a vet and then you talked about your blogging business I wondered is that indicative of the importance of.

Importance of Family and Personal Motivations in Blogging

[1:16] Of these items in your life are your kids the most important thing to you do you think yeah of course to me my kids are are the most important two boys there that plays into to all the rest of it of course because um uh when i’m doing blogging i cannot fail because i have to pay for this house and pay for food and and soccer training and everything else and and it’s all all dependent on me.
So I have to make it work, right?
So it ties into every small decision I have to make.
And also being a vet and choosing not to be that full time is also important to me because I want to be home.
And if I’m not home, the two boys are here alone.

Persistence and Long-Term Planning for Blogging Success

[2:03] So I think that’s the first point, knowing why you’re actually doing this, not just because it’s fancy or you want to make a lot of money but what’s really inside of you why why do you want to do this and then she asked me what i would do if i was setting up a new blog and didn’t want to head into all my failures but set it up for success maybe go for a less competitive niche so you can make more failures and still see some success if you were a brand new blogger then what What you would need to do is plan to work on the site maybe for longer before you expect to see some return.
So plan to make those mistakes and just be OK with not making the big bucks at the end of 12 months.
Like say, OK, I really want to do a pet site.
I’m going to lock in and work on this pretty solid for 24 to 36 months before I decide that this was a fail or a win. If that would have been me.

[3:09] I would have given up before I’ve seen any real success.

Overcoming Limitations and Realistic Expectations in Online Success

[3:13] And I think you would also need to spend more time on each article to beat the competition.
But that goes for health or basically any YMYL stuff and maybe also your legal sites, right?
So what she’s actually talking about here is actually persistence and not expecting this to be an overnight success where you can suddenly earn a lot of money.
I know all the ads and all the hype gurus on YouTube are trying to sell you that.
And of course, that plays into their agenda.
But here in the real world where Emilia and I live, it’s not that easy.
And persistence for maybe two years is actually necessary to see any kind of success.
I do think I’ve held myself back more than I needed to, and probably you have as well.
And in the next part, she dives into why that is. Where and when did you make your first dollar online?

Initial Online Earnings and Hesitation to Monetize

[4:18] 2010, I guess, with AdSense. So I started a Danish website for dog and cat owners back in 2009.
And I sort of more like a hobby at that time.
So and I put AdSense on there in 2010.
I think I got around $100 every quarter.
A long time I was just giving up on making a decent income online.
Line and it’s it’s only in the the recent years i’ve been working hard to to actually make a proper income from my blogging what in your opinion held you back oh that was a good question.

Change in Attitude towards Monetization and Overcoming Concerns

[5:04] Why didn’t you do it 10 years ago i i felt bad taking people’s money if i have to be completely honest even though it was ads how do i phrase that um selling stuff to people showing them ads was somehow uh felt wrong for some reason so i had like you were taking advantage of them somehow Yes and I was actually blogging because I wanted to help people. I wanted to make a difference.
Just put the Ezoic ads on the site and it’s running fine.
So what you’re saying is the change, the difference between then and now is you don’t care anymore and you’re like I’ll take your money like I’m ready like you’ve overcome somehow.
Yes, I’ve completely given up of caring about people.

Overcoming the mindset around money and charging clients

[5:53] No it’s a It’s a mindset thing because I was, as a vet, I’ve always worked as an employee.
And even though I write how much I think people should pay, that somehow felt more natural.
And then building something of my own and feeling that that was actually something worth charging for was more a mental hurdle. Totally feel you.
And when I entered the practice of law, that was something that I had to confront and overcome because it was very hard to sit in front of a client and say, and yeah, you need to give me $5,000 and believe that they needed to give you that and believe that your, their time was worth something. And yeah.

[6:44] It’s not something that I’ve overcome, to be honest. So what we’re talking about here is actually the mindset around money.
And you might not have that. And maybe you think I’m stupid for having those thoughts.
But it’s sometimes feel wrong to sell or wrong to take people’s money.
And it’s not something that comes easy to me.
And it might have something to do with the way I’m brought up or that I don’t feel like I have enough money. so taking other people’s money somehow feels wrong.
But changing the mindset around this to actually knowing that I can help more people if I charge them money and I get a little bit of money in.
Of course, I’m not going to sell them something they don’t need, but as long as I’m helping them, it feels somewhat better to take their money.

[7:36] And that has taken quite a long time, way longer than it needed to before I started earning some decent income?

What would I do differently? Starting monetization earlier

[7:43] And that plays into the next question she’s going to ask me.
Ben, at this for over a decade, if you could go back, what’s one thing you wish you could do differently?
But it is really a good question because if I knew back then what I know now, of course I would do a lot of things different.
But what I learned through the years is actually from a lot of the failures I’ve done. So I would avoid some of the failures, probably go for monetization way earlier than I did.
I would have tried to overcome that mental hurdle of not monetizing my stuff early enough.

[8:23] And I was blogging for many years without thinking it was a real business.
Even though I was making a little bit of money from it, I didn’t see it as a real business.
So actually taking small steps in the direction I know I have to go, even though it feels uncomfortable to me or I’m not sure what direction to take, just taking small steps in that direction is what has helped me.
And that also leads into one of the most important takeaways from this interview.
You one of the things I’ve realized recently is that what what gives me some of my success is the 80% I’m not doing and and you of course when you’re new you have to try a bunch of stuff to to know what works for you and your audience and you have to to be willing to test and fail and and everything and now I’ve failed so many times there’s a lot of things I don’t do anymore Some of the success that you will see will also come from what you’re not doing and what you’re not wasting your time on.
To me, it’s been fairly simple to find out what that is, but trying to do that is not as simple and we will come back to that in a second.
Right. What’s a relevant thing? You said, I just focus on the relevant stuff.
Okay. Well, what is in the 20% then? What, what do you focus on?

The importance of focusing on relevant tasks for success

[9:48] What counts as relevant?
Sit down and type on the stupid keyboard.

[9:52] Yes. I’m so sorry. Oh, I’ve spent so many hours listening to podcasts and reading and audio books and doing keyword research that has been a time suck and it’s fun.
It really fun. And it And it really, and that is what I’m doing.

[10:08] I will just say it like, it’s like a treasure hunt. If I could do nothing but that and like finding the best keywords, I would be the richest person there ever was.
And so I’m looking down because my computer is here and I have like 20 spreadsheets in there with 700 ideas and really good ideas in there.
And it took me like a complete summer vacation to find all of those.
But when on earth is I’m going to write 20 times, times 700 articles and nothing of that is earning me money so go just go find 10 good keywords and write the damn articles yeah it says it’s just true though you said what you said it says none of that stuff is earning me money right so it might feel like you’re working on your business by doing listening to podcasts and all these things but those things at some point have to translate into something that earns money.
I’ve been following your live streams and watching all of your videos and from my perspective it seems like you are doing that.
You seem like you’ve come across like a person that is able to sit down, ask to cheer and just type away and get everything done? It’s working.

Building routine and flexing the writing muscle

[11:24] The smoke screen is working. No, I do. That’s one thing I think I do better.
I don’t think I do SEO that well. I don’t think I do social media that well.
I don’t do YouTube that well.
But one thing I can do is hit that publish button.
Find a way to hit the publish button.
That is one thing that I managed to do.
For me, routine is something that is a muscle that has to be trained and it has to become like muscle memory, right?
So my ability to sit down and work at the computer is something that I have to flex that all the time because if I get out of the habit of writing content, then it is really hard for me to sit down and do it.
So what I usually tell people who are having a really hard time writing content, like getting to the computer to write content, and I’ve seen this many times, if somebody is just willing to sit down and flex the muscle for seven days, then on the eighth day, they would have a much easier time to sit down and do the work than they did on day zero or day one, because that muscle.

[12:25] Has been flexed. So that’s actually a pretty good advice.
Building a routine, maybe just writing a couple of words each day, or maybe having one day a week where you dive in and you just do that one thing, that will build that muscle.

Struggling to find motivation and reach new levels of success

[12:43] And now we are approaching the most important takeaway from this interview.
Because even though I’m pretty good at building that muscle and building that routine, I still find it difficult from time to time to actually sit here and type things because I feel good.
The boys are good. The household income is good.
We have a car. We have something to eat. They go to school.
Everything is fine. But striving to reach a new level of success has proven difficult.
And Emilia has a point on that that actually pretty much threw me off.
But let’s hear what she has to say. Right now, I’m gassed up and I’m well caffeinated.
I can write a list of 10 articles I want to write.
And then in an hour when the dishwasher is emptied out and I sit and the kids are tucked into bed, then the energy is just gone.

[13:40] And even though I know exactly what to write, it’s not happening.
So intention is one thing. actually having the energy at the right time seems to be a struggle to me anyway well i will say something that might be uncomfortable for you to hear and maybe other people in the chat will beat me up for this but i don’t think you’re desperate enough i don’t think you need it enough or want it enough let me tell you this if if you if you worked if you spent 12 hours with your kids and And it was 10 p.m. right. And you’re tired.
And the only thing you had to do was to sit down and write a blog post.
And if you did not do that, your children would not eat tomorrow.
Do you think there is any chance in the world that you would just look at Netflix?

[14:31] No, you would be there. Yes, of course.
And I really feel like if we are comfortable, maybe maybe not comfortable enough.
Enough, right? Like I would be, I would like to be more comfortable.
I would like to make $50,000 a month, right?
I’m motivated to do that. But if I sat down and went back to that bed this afternoon and read a book, my children would still eat dinner.
I would still pay the mortgage, right? There’s, there’s, I, and that’s probably one of the reasons why I don’t make $50,000 a a month right now is I’m not, I don’t really need it.
I just want it, I don’t need it. I’m not uncomfortable enough and so.
I really like being a vet.
And that is also giving me a pillow because I could always ask my boss if he wanted to give me more hours, and he probably could.
So if the platform was starting to burn, there is a safety net for me.
So, of course, that takes some of the desperation away.
But I really like to take Fridays off and have a long weekend.
Again, I’m guessing maybe that’s not a strong enough motivator.

Motivation and Publishing Articles

[15:52] It is a strong motivator, and I’m actually publishing articles, but maybe not after 9 o’clock at night.
So I’m curious. Are you desperate enough? Are you finding it difficult to reach a new level of success if not everything is burning under your feet?
We’ll see what happens. All right. Take care, everybody. Take care.
I really recommend that you subscribe to Emilia. She has some awesome interviews and some awesome live streams.
And you can go here to watch one of those.

Know your WHY

Understanding the ‘why’ behind your blog is the foundation of your blogging journey. It’s about pinpointing the driving force that motivates you to share your thoughts, knowledge, or creativity with the world. Is it to inspire, educate, entertain, or perhaps to build a community? This core purpose serves as your compass, guiding your content and helping you navigate through the challenges and decisions you’ll face along the way.

Be Persistent

Persistence is your best friend in the blogging universe. Success rarely happens overnight. It often requires continuous effort, learning from failures, and the willingness to adapt. The conversation highlighted the importance of not giving up when results aren’t immediate. Embrace patience and keep pushing forward, refining your strategies and content to better meet the needs of your audience.

Treat your blog as a business

Approaching your blog with a business mindset is a game-changer. This means being strategic about your content, understanding your audience, and knowing how to market your blog effectively. It involves planning, goal setting, and monitoring your progress. Treating your blog as a business also means being open to investing—whether it’s in self-education, tools, or services that can help elevate your platform.

Take Small Steps

Setting grand goals is inspiring, but the key to achieving them lies in taking small, manageable steps. Breaking down your ambitions into achievable tasks not only makes the process less daunting but also provides you with a clear path forward. Celebrate the small victories; they are your stepping stones to larger achievements.

Build a Routine

Consistency is crucial in blogging. Establishing a routine helps in maintaining a steady flow of content, which is vital for building and retaining an audience. Determine a posting schedule that works for you and stick to it. A routine also helps in managing time effectively, allowing you to balance blogging with other responsibilities.

Be Desperate Enough

Finally, the conversation touched on the necessity of being ‘desperate enough.’ This doesn’t mean compromising your ethics or values but rather cultivating a mindset that’s willing to go the extra mile. It’s about being hungry for success, willing to learn continuously, experimenting with new ideas, and not being afraid to step out of your comfort zone.

I’ve also talked about selling some of my best performing sites. Take a look at my portfolio (URLs revealed) here…

In conclusion, the proactive blogger’s mindset is about blending passion with pragmatism. It’s recognizing that success in blogging is a marathon, not a sprint. By knowing your why, being persistent, treating your blog as a business, taking small steps, building a routine, and being desperate enough, you’re setting the stage for a rewarding blogging journey. Remember, every successful blogger was once a beginner. Your unique voice and determination can carve out a space for you in the vast blogging world. Stay motivated, stay curious, and above all, stay proactive.



Business Development, Edited, Proactive Mindset

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